Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Foreplay WHO?

The LEVITRA chick just pisses me off. Yes, I know she’s an actress. Yes, I know she was probably strapped for cash and has already made about 40k off the insipid commercial that manages to make all women look like idiots. I know she’s just an actress doing her job. She still pisses me off and I want to boycott every product that is handled by the ad agency that does those commercials. As soon as I can find out who the ad agency is. Anyone? First, aside from the ad making women look like sex starved morons who had no IDEA that a 4 hour erection could be so damn satisfying - as opposed to chafing...if we REALLY had that great of an orgasm, we wouldn’t be awake to talk about it. We’d be passed out, unconscious, gone. We’d wake up later wondering what happened and not quite sure we remember our middle name. That’s how it works - not from a 4 hour woody, but from a partner that actually knows what they're doing. That woman is simply a representative of fakers everywhere. Secondly, a real woman would never gloat. High school boys and men who have been used to paying for it will gloat. A real woman would simply go about her business until the next time she gets knocked unconscious by the great whammy O. A woman having the great whammy O doesn’t need to gloat, or smile coyly at the camera like they have FINALLY been made to feel like a natural woman, mmhmmm...and we all know that the first time THAT happened that it was probably on a date with ourselves.

I’ve got to get TIVO. Today’s commercials are going to drive me to excessive amounts of street heroine.

11 Comments:

Blogger Laura said...

I hate those commercials. Especially when they come on when I'm watching something with DD#2. One minute we are enjoying a mindless crime-solving show, the next minute I'm explaining erectile dysfunction to my 13 year old daughter, who really, really doesn't have much of a need for the information at this point in her life.

So you mean 4 hour erections aren't every woman's dream? ;) They need to invent a pill that creates a time-limited erection...20 minutes sounds like plenty.

27 January, 2005 05:25  
Blogger PATCAM2005 said...

WHOA!

27 January, 2005 10:07  
Blogger I.M. Dedd said...

Just read a TON of you posts. This is my new favorite blog. Hey, if you didn't hate them so much, I'd do an *ad* for this blog. :}

27 January, 2005 12:17  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe the Quantum Group out of New York does those Levitra ads... also the Football (mike ditka has errectile dysfunction?) ones too.

the monkey diarist

27 January, 2005 18:06  
Blogger ThomasMcCay said...

Hell, they sold us a president using the same methods. From that, I gotta figure the sales are hot. I don't watch TV so I've not heard of that one.

Twenty minutes is enough? Being a drugless but long lasting sort, I'm glad I never heard that before. I have enough complexes already. :)

27 January, 2005 23:50  
Blogger R said...

I'd need a hell of allot more money than that to talk about my sex life on national TEE VEE. I can't think of anything more damned boring than a four hour erection. I like allot of things, but I wouldn't want ANY of them for four straight hours. Maybe thats my A.D.D. talking.

28 January, 2005 21:02  
Blogger PATCAM2005 said...

The boy in me still laughs and thinks, "she said woody."

The other part still thinks that four hours would be one hell of a back ache in the morning...

28 January, 2005 22:22  
Blogger ThomasMcCay said...

Ah, except the woman in the ad was not talking about her sex life. She was playing a script.

It is difficult imagine that a four hour erection would not become a pain for both parties. So, I decided that the natural market is for swingers, orgy lovers, sex addicts, and porno stars.

I suspect the porno stars were the original test group.

If it really does that, and remember advertising is in the biz of lying, I could see it causing a few break ups.

I can see the charges, "Cruel and Unusual woodiness".

There is a lot of humour potential in the idea of taking a chemical that would maintain an erection for four hours. What if it works longer than that for some. Imagine trying to hide it at work or having to call in sick because there is a pole in your trousers.

You walk into the typical office and look for the guys wearing trench coats at their desk, in July.

Once again, truth is stranger than fiction.

29 January, 2005 00:16  
Blogger ~Betsy said...

Why would ANYONE, male or female, want to deal with a boner for four hours? Seems one would have to pee before that, then what? I'M not cleaning that up!

29 January, 2005 12:06  
Blogger Jet said...

Oh dear. Everybody is having tons of fun at the expense of four hour woodies, and here I am getting all analytical. Bad brain!

The key problem with the damned Levitra ad, is that woman AREN'T like that. We don't think like that and we wouldn't discuss the topic like that. Men do, and the ad is basely targeting them with this intentioned wording.

The reason the ad rankles with me is that is escalates the misinformation. It's so much easier to just keep on believing what you're force fed than it is to actually figure the opposite sex out. The same could be said of our current political situation. It's far easier to sling libel than it is to work together.

That said, I'll be on the lookout for trench coats at work.

31 January, 2005 12:57  
Blogger Cranky Liberal said...

No, after reading this - I think I love you ;)

04 February, 2005 08:08  

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