Yeesh, It's HOT in here!

So...today, I’m minding my own business, eating my lunch at my mandatory-by-law-un-paid-half-hour-lunch break, when all of a sudden in the middle of a bite of my delicious stuffed pepper from Trader Joes while listening to another fabulously hilarious anecdote by Halstead...IT HITS...a strange overly warm feeling came over me. No, it wasn’t an orgasm, (which would be highly unlikely at any time or for any reason between the hallowed walls of the cubicle farm where I work, not to mention the very thought of the lengths one would have to go to in order to ATTEMPT to feel sexy in that overly flourescent and oppressive environment is just gross)...and it certainly wasn’t the Holy Spirit. It was more like what a Niacin flush feels like if any of you have ever done that. I used to do them a lot back in the 80’s when I would try to detox myself off something - not sure what I was detoxing over, it could have been anything. It was the 80’s. Anyway, this was kind of like that, except that it hit much more rapidly and without the warning skin itchiness that precedes a Niacin flush...No, this was like being hit by a Hot Bomb that exploded from the inside of the inner core of my being and generated out in about a nano-second. Jane, one of the social-workers, was sitting across the table from me when it hit. She looked at me and cocked her head to one side.

She knew.

“Okay, wow, boy, having a hot flash,” I said.

“Yes, you certainly are,” said Jane.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – it’s not enough that living in Los Angeles ensures that you are unemployable after age 40 (kind of L.A.’s version of a "Logan’s Run" Utopia, where if it was legal they’d just put us to death), but along with the gradual refining that comes with age – a line here, a gray hair there, a few more minutes on the treadmill and a couple more lunges and crunches needed than there used to be...no, it’s not enough to be attempting to age gracefully in the town listed at #1 on the Ageism scale...when you can have THIS!

Menopause in Los Angeles.

Sounds like the title to a country and western song doesn’t it? Or a punk band.