Friday, April 20, 2007


That title does not in any way, shape or form refer to the jingle in the Herpes commercial. Horrible what commercial jingles do to language association.

Anyway . . .

Well, hello there. It has certainly been awhile. First and foremost, I wish to extend my heartfelt gratitude for all the kind wishes and support many of you have given, and extended thanks to those of you who have continued to check in with comments here and emails there, reminding me that I am indeed part of the fabric of the universe and that it might be time to rejoin it.

I have been okay, considering. People keep asking me if I have had an inappropriate outburst at anyone yet. That answer is no, however it was suggested to me by my Chinese Medical practitioner that I do so, and soon. The suggestion being to unload it on someone completely unconnected to the situation, i.e. get in a cab, tell the driver to drive, and just go off. Or unload on an unsuspecting telemarketer. Something like that. I haven’t yet, but it is an interesting idea.

Much has happened in the last three months. Many things have happened in our world and nation in the past three months that go beyond the scope of my own recent family tragedy. Anna Nicole (insert all hourly news updates and scandal here), Obama’s impressive fundraising, more soldiers lost, the horrible tragedy at Virginia Tech and the U.S. Supreme Court donning medical scrubs sans medical degrees to declare what they believe to be sound medical practice when it comes to reproductive health.

Oh, and Manpants and I got engaged.

I plan on commenting upon all of the above at some point and in my fashion, but today I think I’ll talk about a few things I have learned and I’ll try not to make it too Lifetime Movie of the Week.

I have learned that having an inappropriately dark sense of humor is crucial to human survival. I have learned that I can pack up an entire house and close up financial affairs in an insanely rapid, yet efficient amount of time. I have learned that it is actually rather important to name a legal executor of one’s estate because if that isn’t there, other people cannot do whacky little things like legally sell, donate or even inherit a car; that the only recourse is to drive said car to a dodgy neighborhood and leave it there with the doors unlocked and the keys in the ignition. I have learned that bathing can sometimes be left off the chore list for a week without it being all that icky. I have learned that Southwest Airlines staff are absolutely wonderful if one ever has the horrible task of flying anywhere while carrying a loved one’s ashes on their lap. I have learned that waiting in line at Trader Joe’s or sitting in L.A. traffic is just not that big a deal when compared to sitting and watching a 7 ½ hour chemo treatment and a willingness to wait as long as it takes and more if it meant my sister would still be alive. I have learned that it is important to have friends with you when strangers come over to pick up things they bought from you on Craig’s list. I have learned that some of those people who buy things on Craig’s list can leave an entire house smelling like fried chicken. I have learned that the people who live and work in St. Louis, Missouri are some of the kindest, most considerate, patient and helpful people I have ever encountered and that the people of Los Angeles could learn a lot from them, especially when it comes to waiting in line at the Post Office. I have learned that one can indeed survive on coffee, salami and cheese alone if one’s imagination and energy is not capable of venturing beyond those three items. I have learned that the closest of friends can turn out to be those people you fought with and haven’t spoken to. I have learned that Ambien doesn’t work very well as a sleep aid, but over-the-counter Simply Sleep is good in a pinch. I have learned that it is okay to accept help. I have learned how to create a rockin’ PowerPoint slide presentation.

I have learned that life is very short and that each of us has an obligation to those who left before us to remain interesting.