Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Study of Texting While Driving Proves that Studies are Worthy of Further Study

“The first study of drivers texting inside their vehicles shows that the risk sharply exceeds previous estimates based on laboratory research -- and far surpasses the dangers of other driving distractions. The new study, which entailed outfitting the cabs of long-haul trucks with video cameras over 18 months, found that when the drivers texted, their collision risk was 23 times greater than when not texting.” So writes MATT RICHTEL in the New York Times.

Really? REALLY?????
Okay, this goes to show (Please see below posting for further comments on STUPID STUDIES) that you can get people to pay for studies on ANY ASSININE SUBJECT WHATSOEVER. There was a STUDY required to prove that texting was dangerous while driving. By the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute, no less.

Okay, let’s think about this for just a moment. What is “texting” exactly? Well, according to a way-down-the-list definition from the interweb, “texting” is:

To communicate by text message: He texted that he would be late.

Texting is the act of typing a message onto a miniscule keyboard which requires looking at said keyboard and printout screen and using peripheral vision ONLY for anything not associated with said miniscule keyboard and printout screen.

Huh. Okay, so what is this “peripheral vision” that I speak of?

According to the interweb, peripheral vision is “the capacity to see side or fringe areas when one is looking ahead; one’s vision using only the outer edges of one’s retina

Yeah. It really needs a fucking study to prove that using only the outer edges of one’s retina as a vision tool while driving because it is soooooo important to let your BFF know that OMG, you’re like SFL and ROTFLMAO did you see the dress that FG was wearingggggg?????

Fuck you, Virginia Tech Transportation Institute.

Have a nice day.

8 Comments:

Blogger Seamus said...

Perhaps they should have voice recognition software for texting on the move ... wait! that might require a study ... and money ... and time to fill ... 'course there is always a hands free phone ... and.............

Good to see you back Milli!!! :)

28 July, 2009 21:23  
Blogger Rhonda said...

It's like when microwaves first came out. (Stop looking behind you like you weren't around then!) and everyone had to be told not to put their BABIES and their DOGS in there to dry them off. It will FRY BACON but it should be safe to blow dry Fido? The masses truly are asses.

30 July, 2009 02:55  
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Blogger Harlem's A Hatin said...

I love your take on studies. Most of them are common sense and do not need to have money wasted on them!

http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

06 October, 2009 14:17  
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