Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Where'd I Put That Pen?

I seem to be experiencing temporary technical difficulty – namely the fact that my mind has suddenly become what can be termed “Pure as the driven snow . . .Not violated by a single thought.” In a nutshell – I got nothin’. So in the interest of putting something up on this fabulous blog space I’ve come to call….okay “Home” is not the right word . . . hmmm, well, see what I mean? Never mind . . . onward to today’s

LITERARY BUTCHERY!!!

To spin, or not to spin.
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous saddlebags
Or to take arms against a rising scale
And by opposing, become slim again?
To park on the couch: to nap;
No more, and by a nap to say we end
The youthful metabolism
and begin the thousand natural
movements south that flesh is heir to
Chocolate tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d . . .

For the love of all that is holy, make me stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, that was quite possibly the worst version of Customized-Hamlet that I have done to date. Forgive me. Let’s move on.

I started spinning recently. For those of the uninitiated, “spinning” is an athletic activity whereby one wears specially designed shoes while riding a specially designed stationary bicycle in a room full of other people wearing specially designed shoes riding identical, specially designed stationary bicycles while an instructor, accompanied by a fabulously spiritual attitude and appropriate selection of “tunes” for the mood, leads one through a series of uphill climbs, sprints, etc . . . all while out of the saddle on the bike. One rarely sits while they spin. This entire process is carefully coordinated for maximum heart rate and maximum sweat. Needless to say, I look like I jumped in a swimming pool upon leaving class. Drenched. It’s addicting.

I’m afraid, however that my writing ability has left me briefly while my ass changes size. I’m assuming this is a temporary condition and that I’ll write something soon.

11 Comments:

Anonymous pia said...

Truly wish that my need to write would be overtaken by a dire need to exercise.

Because this undeniably middle aged body sure needs it.

And I loved the spin on Hamlet. Hey, you can apply for a job at The White House!

Keep on saying I'm never going to write or think about politics again, but uh..

12 July, 2005 12:19  
Blogger R said...

I love this post I don't know what your TALKING about. I'm memorizing your Hamlet for later when my husband asks "Did you eat the last piece of cake...AGAIN" I think it will be a PERFECT retort. And right over model boys head. I love it. Did the spinning thing. I had "Helga the torture goddess" for my class. I punish myself enough. I do not need to pay for it. But I can see where it would get addicting.

12 July, 2005 16:52  
Blogger Seamus said...

...as for Hamlet butchery...you are a VERY GOOD BUTCHER!!!

...as for temporary writing loss relative to size loss - at least you cannot be accused of yanking your work out of your arse, eh? LOL!

13 July, 2005 10:40  
Blogger Laura said...

I LOVED your "spin" on Hamlet, and I NEVER have anything to post but that doesn't stop me from doing it anyhow. Let the ass-shrinkage begin.

As I've said before, my one foray into the Land of Spin was the toughest workout I ever had. I never would have known that my heart rate could actually get up to 180. (By comparison, when I run my heart rate is usually around 150-160, and that's with a lot of huffing and puffing.) It was too hard core for me but I could definitely see how a person would burn off a million calories a week.

13 July, 2005 11:57  
Blogger Cranky Liberal said...

Well your writing is fine, don't know about the ass - but spinning is quite possible the most brutal form of torture every invented! Even guys I know who ride bikes religiously were left as a wet puddle of jello after their first class.

You go girl

14 July, 2005 06:42  
Blogger PATCAM2005 said...

Blogfart? n or v?

[cue new word definition]

14 July, 2005 22:18  
Blogger JC said...

It truly looks like some type of hell! I have seen it on tv. I heard recently that a newly skinny celebrity had passed out the other day after her spinning class. Whatever you do, don't let your ass shrink that much! I was reading through Pia's old stuff and found a link to your site. Thanks to you both.

16 July, 2005 12:05  
Blogger Whymrhymer said...

Millicent,

Amazing! Even when you "got nothin’" you've got a great way of turning into 'somethin' special!'

I finally got around to responding to comments on my last post! Thanks for yours.

18 July, 2005 09:36  
Blogger R said...

Are you like, DONE with blogging. Cause I seriously don't think I can go on in the bloggesphere without you.
With or without yewwwwwwww....I can't BLOOOOOOG. With or withouuuut yewwwwwww. My dogs are howling..must stop

07 August, 2005 18:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.

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08 August, 2005 08:12  
Blogger Catharine said...

Few people understand the delicate ass/mind interrelationship. It's a total mystery. Good luck... and don't get too obsessed with spinning, otherwise, Rhonda and I are going to have to come in there and get you, and it won't be pretty.

~CA~

08 August, 2005 11:31  

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