Thursday, June 23, 2005


So, according to the up-to-the-minute-hard-hitting-news on Lindsay Lohan - the actress-soon-to-die-of-Consumption – she is quoted as having said during an Access Hollywood exclusive interview that “You will never see me in a nude scene,” and goes further to state that showcasing her [bones] ahem, body, is not the way to achieve her goal of winning an Oscar. Alrighty then. And to think I was not even aware of a consumer demand to see something like that. Silly me.

Which brings us to the word of the day and appropriate contextual usage:

Consumption: A progressive wasting of body tissue.

Use it in a sentence. If you live anywhere near Los Angeles, that should be easy.

Now far be it from me to jump on the band wagon of intense curiosity (even the intellectually respectable political blog The Cranky Liberal has managed to comment) about everything and anything having to do with the life of one very confused and tormented young actress in need of a milkshake, but there are actually people out there who seem to believe that achieving the physical attributes of the comic book character, SKELETOR, should be defended as being “regular” or “normal weight.” Look at the pictures that you cannot escape seeing in every formerly-reputable-at-one-time newspaper. Okay, now consider that the camera ADDS TEN POUNDS. Okay, now that you’ve taken that important detail into consideration, now visualize what one really looks like with that additional ten whittled off. Anybody want to see naked pictures of that? Ew.

There is a bit of a sexist bent to the whole weight-loss/weight-gain of the stars lust for news that we Americans seem to crave, far more than knowing how the soldiers might be faring in Iraq or the recent news that the Federal government has now voted that yes, they CAN take your home that you have owned for 30 years to build a strip mall if they so desire. Pish tush, who wants to hear about that? Anybody see the enormously talented Christian Bale in The Machinist? He dropped 63 pounds to look like a walking skeleton which is what the script called for. And he did. He simply stopped eating. He looked positively repulsive. That’s what walking skeletons look like. Not necessarily something one wants to jump in the sack with if the consequences mean cutting yourself on the person. And definitely not something one wants to see naked. We didn’t really hear much about Mr. Bale though, because despite his talent, he’s not really Hollywood news in the Tom-and-Katie, Brad-and-possibly-Angelina way. Low Q rating. No, in Hollywoodland, we hear about Rene Zellweger gaining a paltry 20 pounds for the Bridget Jones sequel so she can finally weigh a normal amount only to be considered FAT. Her weight gain for that film put her at a bovine 135. Just recently, another “news source” quoted Elizabeth Hurley as stating that she would want to kill herself if she got as fat as Marilyn Monroe. Now there’s something to put in print for the teenage girls to read.

This is our news though, so we must develop an interest in it since there is apparently no interest in anything else. The lack of care or respect for anything happening in the world other than the hedonistic pleasures or eating disorders of the stars and/or what designer label they might be wearing during said pleasures or disorders is what we Americans truly care about. It shapes our values accordingly. Which brings me to a lesser known news item . . . anybody hear about a little high school party about a month ago in the O.C. where about 300 students organized a home invasion of an elderly couple? Nope. Not until a month after it happened.

According to KNX 1070 News Radio and the lesser known Daily Pilot of Newport Beach, the crime was not given press until an anonymous letter went out to residents of the community. Again I say, one month later. What took place was that, "apparently, fliers, e-mails and a website advertised the party, thrown by teenage children of a caretaker who worked in the elderly couple's home, police said. The children's mother -- who cares for a woman in her 70s who is confined to a bed -- was not home at the time, police said. One of the homeowners' cars, with a pass to get into the gated community, ferried partygoers from a nearby parking lot into the home, [the police] said. The elderly woman's husband had gone to get something to eat and returned to find the party going on, the letter says. "Upon returning he found, by police estimates, 300-plus kids inside/outside his home," the letter reads. "Inside, his home was in the process of being vandalized. Furniture was upended and broken. Alcohol and drugs were everywhere.... Some of his personal belongings were sitting in the bottom of his pool," the letter reads. The letter also alleges that students were in the disabled woman's bedroom, blowing marijuana smoke in her face.

300 children. From white, well-to-do Republican Orange County households. Invaded, terrorized and trashed the home of a pair of senior citizens. This is something that I think should have gotten far more press than it did, criminal charges against the parents for being, oh, I don’t know, LOUSY PARENTS, and certainly not a small news item one month after the fact. I wish there was some witty or funny quip I could make about this, but I’m too disgusted.

Guess I’ll go look up more news about what Lindsay Lohan’s wearing. There, that’s better.


Blogger Meg said...

Thank you for an intelligent read among the dozens of posts I have come across today.

23 June, 2005 12:05  
Blogger I.M. Dedd said...

sad about lohan...she used to be cute.

23 June, 2005 13:04  
Anonymous pia said...

Elder abuse is on the rise, and sadly except in extreme cases like the ones you describe, nothing is usually done as reporting elder abuse isn't mandated as is child abuse.

With an ever growing population of elderly people it's going to be a bigger and bigger problem. Everything from neglect, to a person's child stealing money from the parent to physical abuse--has to be reported as a crime by the very people who are too scared to.

Wait, Cranky's blog is intellectually respectable? Cranky is? Darn it; I thought he had become just another celebrity watcher ;)

23 June, 2005 13:26  
Blogger R said...

Hold on a sec...Millicent..Grab her legs. Ouch! Millicent GET HER LEGS. This bony bitch is kicking me!!
Okay now..hold on Lindsey..JUST BE STILL HAG!!
K..Dead..Hand me that Krispy Kreme
OWWWW! bITCH SERIOUSLY. You bite me again and I will beat you with your manolo..You just be glad we got this while the light was on. They are FRESH.
Eat it.
Spit it out again and see what happens Missy. I'm not playing!!!
Hold her hands yall. She is going to try and stick her finger down her throat.
Now Lindsey. We are going to sit on you until you digest that carb. So be a good girl and relax.

Anyway. That part about the old people made me cry. My husband said the old man should have had a gun. He could have at least picked off the ones around his wife. No one would have blamed him and maybe they would think twice about messing with old people.

23 June, 2005 16:09  
Blogger R said...

And glad your back Ms. Frastley. You could write twice a day and it wouldn't be enough for me. Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

23 June, 2005 16:13  
Blogger Catharine said...

Lindsay Lohan is a deeply, deeply disturbed little child whose parents have been living off of her for the last ten years. Likewise, the Olsen twins. My studio just made a movie with one, and my kid used to go to school with the others. There is no way that forcing children into indentured servitude to support the family is ever a good thing.

And as for the kids of the O.C.... it figures that happened in Newport. Those kids are spoiled wretched. Even the ones who don't have a lot of money are ruined by what they see around them. And there's practically a church on every damn corner, too.

How could that be, one asks oneself?


23 June, 2005 17:24  
Blogger Laura said...

Our society is sick on so many levels. Have you heard about "ana" worship? Girls worship anorexia as though it were a goddess, wear special pieces of jewelry that remind them not to eat, say the "ana" prayer etc. Sick.

As for the home invasion of the elderly couple....ugh, it sounds like mob mentality at its finest. WTF. I hope that elderly couple sues the parents of all the rich kids who showed up. That is just horrifying.

23 June, 2005 17:49  
Blogger frstlymil said...

Meg - thank you, and thanks for stopping by!
DeadGuy - You're right - it is very sad - I'd personally like to throttle the parents for the torment that helps shape that kind of damage -
Pia - that is absolutely horrible news...yet of course we don't hear about it nearly enough
Rhonda - Whoa, Nelly!!!!! All kidding aside - I've decided to start purchasing DOVE products just cuz of their responsible advertising of regular looking people. Hopefully their ultra cool campaign will rub off. One can even hope that it will rub off on the young actresses who are most abused by the attitude that in order to be employable, they must look ill.
C.A. - There's got to be, aside from the Coogan Fund - a way to protect these kids and go a step further by charging parents with horrible fines (that they can't pay with from their children's earnings)for doing's so widespread and half those kids don't even want to be there - yeesh...department of child and family services needs a department just to monitor the parents of child actors.

23 June, 2005 17:51  
Blogger frstlymil said...

ANA WORSHIP!?!?!?!?! That's awful. Just awful. And you're right - the parents of those 300 plus kids should pay dearly.

23 June, 2005 17:53  
Blogger PATCAM2005 said...

I never thought that I would live in a day, where anyone could even think that there was something even remotely unattractive about Miss Monroe. Sad thought, no? I consider prints of her 'works of art' and no not just because she was a sex symbol (though the title had crossed my mind a few times), but because for her era, she WAS that which set the bar a little higher.

They really don't make 'em like that anymore (well except for my hunny).

Sickened, yet unsurprised about the rich kids. The feeling of ability and prowess never seem to leave you when you are surrounded by money. Nor when you never have the respect for other peoples things (in this case someones grandparent) as if they were your own. I'm with you on the media thing, we can cover Runaway Dumbass but not this? What gives?

23 June, 2005 18:46  

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