Monday, June 27, 2005


There is a kind of forced relaxation involved when one is lying upon a table while assorted-long-yet-thin needles are strategically sticking out of the skin surrounding one's delicate eye area.

Bet that got your attention.

Okay, stop screaming. Just so we're clear on what I mean when I say needle, and that it is not in fact a euphemism for something far more sordid yet pleasurable,

I bring to you the word of the day: NEEDLE

Please peruse the following definitions and adopt the one that appeals best. Please use in a sentence later. I am particularly fond of the final informal definition, which involves alcoholic beverages, surprise, surprise.

1. A small, slender implement used for sewing or surgical suturing, made usually of polished steel and having an eye at one end through which a length of thread is passed and held. (May I simply add - DUH)

2. A slender piece of jewel or steel used to transmit vibrations from the grooves of a phonograph record. (Anyone too young to know what a phonograph is needs to get off the computer and go outside to play. Right now.)

3. A slender pointer or indicator on a dial, scale, or similar part of a mechanical device. ( It goes up to eleven.)

4. A magnetic needle. (Ru-Roh?)

5. A hypodermic needle. (Ru-Roh!)

6. Chiefly Upper Northern U.S. (You Southerners will have to simply accept the following as fact)
a. A narrow stiff leaf, as those of conifers.
b. A fine, sharp projection, as a spine of a sea urchin or a crystal.
c. A sharp-pointed instrument used in engraving.

7. Informal. A goading, provoking, or teasing remark or act. (I'm intimately familiar with this one)

v. needled, needling, needles
v. tr.
To prick, pierce, or stitch with a small, slender, sharp-pointed implement.
Informal. To goad, provoke, or tease.
Slang. To increase the alcoholic content of (a beverage).

For those who have managed to read this far, get through the first sentence while managing to refrain from blurting out a most girlie and undignified scream followed closely by the act of jumping upon a chair while knocking over the computer monitor and neighboring lamp; muttering "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew..." incoherantly - it's actually quite refreshing. I started having acupuncture done on a weekly basis - oh - about a month and a half ago for the purpose of tapping into my inner Uma Thurman. (In the Acupuncture world, that is usually referred to as one's qi (pronounced CHEE). I prefer to call it Uma Thurman. It sounds far more dramatic and glamorous. I know I've mentioned in the past the importance of tapping into my inner Sharon Stone, but I'm blonder and wiser now and I have decided to move on.

Now, I did a bit of reading and I'm sure you'll find this FASCINATING - it turns out that the primitive society of China is divided into two time periods - The Old Stone Age(10,000 years ago and beyond) and the New Stone Age (10,000-4000 years ago). During the Old Stone Age knives were made of stone and were used for certain medical procedures. During the New Stone Age, stones were refined into fine needles and served as instruments of healing. They were named bian stone - which means use of a sharp edged stone to treat disease. Many bian stone needles were excavated from ruins in China dating back to the New Stone Age.

So this whole needles-in-the-face-thing has apparently been going on a while.



Blogger Tracey said...

How cool! I actually won an accupuncture session at a live auction fundraiser about a month ago...and have been wondering if I should actually go ahead and get it done... It really does sound fascinating, (accupuncture, that is...) doesn't it?

27 June, 2005 19:52  
Blogger I.M. Dedd said...

sounds good to me...:}

28 June, 2005 05:15  
Blogger Laura said...

You are truly a woman of mystery and drama. Did it hurt? And if so, did it hurt in a good way?

28 June, 2005 09:00  
Anonymous pia said...

Love the Uma Thurman remark!

28 June, 2005 11:00  
Blogger Catharine said...

Okay... I'm trying to be open-minded. But that damn word -- the "n" word -- keeps rearing its ugly head.

I just can't equate relaxation with a good skewering, regardless of the width of the nee... neee...

See? I can't even type it.


28 June, 2005 11:18  
Blogger PATCAM2005 said...

Ok, I am going to pretend like the end of #2 applies to me; I am going outside to play with my toyz (I'm scared of needles, EW EW Ew).

28 June, 2005 19:26  
Blogger Whymrhymer said...


Sure glad i decided to drop by and didn't miss that post.

You did good moving beyond Sharon Stone -- she scares me more than needles!

28 June, 2005 21:51  
Blogger Meg said...

oh my! You are braver then I could ever be... but did it work?

29 June, 2005 10:45  
Blogger PaintingChef said...

Huh...your inner Uma Thurman...I LIKE it!

I've been very curious to try acupuncture, if it just weren't for that damn needles...

29 June, 2005 10:59  
Blogger R said...

My mother has been a long fan of acupuncture. She quit smoking because of it. Now science is catching up. They had a study in Jama a while back that showed it helping women who were infertile (due to unknown reasons) get pregant. I forwarded the article to my best friend who had been going through IVF for years. She did it and her last IVF took. I don't know what kind of mojo it is...but I don't argue with facts.

29 June, 2005 12:05  
Blogger Cranky Liberal said...

Hey now - my scream was not all that girlie!

11 July, 2005 09:23  

Post a Comment

<< Home