Friday, November 11, 2005

Only In L.A.

You know you are back in L.A. when you happen to see an arm reach out of the driver’s side window of a car driving down Crescent Heights Boulevard in the opposite direction to yourself – to throw a toupee out the window. A really ugly toupee.

I know it was a toupee and that it was ugly, because I double checked what the litter bug had thrown onto the asphalt/slurry seal below. Normally, I would honk and yell at litterbugs that seem to think the world is their wastebasket – but I was simply a bit stunned by this new and innovative form of discarded trash.

In other L.A. observances, I attended the opening of a play last night. Yes, there is live theatre in Los Angeles, and much of it is quite good. This one was as well, despite the fact that 6 Hollywood types that had obviously never been schooled in how to sit in a theatre and watch a live performance parked themselves in the front row, apparently feeling it their God given right to bring in their own stash of alcohol into the performance, get hammered over the course of the play, each member of the party repeatedly getting up to leave the theatre to apparently use the loo – and one of them actually had the nerve to start text messaging people during the performance (the light from the phone shining into the faces of all behind him in the dark theatre). Since this play happened to be a long one-act of about an hour and ten minutes – this is a lot of disruption. My hat is off to the performers who did a great job, despite the assholes with lousy upbringing. I was sitting two rows back – otherwise I would have reached over and taken the phone away from the idiot – but thankfully, and I am so in awe of her at this moment – the lead actress in the play came out afterwards when audience members were standing around, said “thank you all for coming – HOWEVER…..” and proceeded to rip into the 6 people for their lousy behaviour and the disruption to the people in the audience AND the people on stage working. It was beautiful.

I go back to St. Louis on Sunday morning – after only a brief visit with Manpants, the pooches and a few dear friends. It has been a much needed rest.

I’m not sure why the guy felt the need to throw his toupee out of the window, but I do applaud the decision. May comb-overs and toupees meet the same fate that met the dinosaurs. Rest in peace, little rug in the gutter, rest in peace.


Blogger Tracey said...

It's good to hear that you're getting some peace from your time back home, Mil...and it's amazing with all this going on that you can still find something to make your faithful legions laugh. :) Poor little rug in the gutter!

Hang tough, Mil...and remember that you and yours are being held in the thoughts of many.

13 November, 2005 09:49  
Blogger Seamus said...

I sure hope someone taped that "thankyou" by the lead and aired it on the news or something. I really do not understand why people who are not really interested in a performance think its ok to ruin it for everyone else. I've witnessed the same here, in a very small venue - fortunately this bunch was asked to leave at intermission. They should give the lead actress a medal!
Glad you had a break. Know our thoughts are with you and yours!

13 November, 2005 13:18  
Blogger Laura said...

ROTFLOL....Ah, this is the Millie we know and love, equally attuned to both the forlorn rug in the gutter and the asshole in the front row. (An aside: I'll bet that little toupee has a history worthy of one of your noir efforts. Probably belonged to a mobster or something.) Glad to see you are gathering your strength. If you want any company in St. Louis, let me know and I'm there.

14 November, 2005 05:18  
Blogger Catharine said...

Just when I think I want to move out of this city, someone tells me a story that makes me think this is the only place in the world for me.

Here's to ya, Mil. Have a safe trip and may things go a bit smoother this time while you're there.


15 November, 2005 16:01  
Blogger ~Betsy said...

The discarded gutter rug may find a new home on someone else's head, who knows? It is L.A. after all.

I'm glad to hear that the lead actress ripped them a new one for being so rude. I enjoy live theater too, and think that obnoxious attendees belong in the back row, or none at all. Sitting behind the big-haired whisperer doused in rose perfume was my worst theater experience to date.

God bless you for your diligence to your sister and family. Enjoy Thanksgiving, this one's very special.

16 November, 2005 19:46  
Blogger R said...

Girl, you should start collecting stuff like that. Pin them to a board and mount them on your wall. I would in a heartbeat. Imagine the storys you could tell all who entered. Maybe encase them in glass. Wouldn't want to give anyone head lice.

18 November, 2005 19:59  
Anonymous pia said...

On behalf of all people with big hair that is just a mite too short to wear up, I must object to that comment--though I try to keep it long enough to wear up to films and the theater

It's wonderful that you're able to make people laugh--hope you can also

The night of the day the levees broke I had tickets to see Light in The Piazza--not a tenth as good as the book. But the twelve women in back of me didn't help

I was trying to concentrate on the play when all I could think about was New Orleans and these Southern lushes behind me in matching polyester wouldn't shut up--even after I and some other people asked them to.

I paid 90 bucks for that ticket and wanted to get at least 20 worth of the show. But the women found the bar during intermission and....

Though it technically wasn't Broadway--Lincoln Center, I decided to never go to a Broadway musical again as I really don't like them, and like the audiences even less

Though I would have loved to have been at Spamalot the next night if I could have gotten close enough to Condi Rice to accidentally spill something very hot on her as it was boiling hot--she might have liked something cold spilled

And that's when I begun wondering: if I couldn't concentrate on a play on Tuesday night because of the women but more because of the levees,how could she see a play the next night?

Sorry for the rambling but I guess I really can turn anything into politics

19 November, 2005 14:37  
Blogger Catharine said...

In my Environmental Landscapes class, we read an unpublished essay by nature writer Jennifer Price, and she says she loves LA for being the kind of place a friend can start a story, "So I went over to Terry's house, and there was Terry, and Terry's new baby, and the doula, and the doula's chimp in a dress...."

I howled when I read that, because I know that if I'd heard that on the street, I probably wouldn't have batted an eyelash...

My hometown.... Gotta love it....


28 November, 2005 17:12  

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